think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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