a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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