Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
