I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize