1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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