i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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