I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize