just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
