I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
