Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
