I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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