He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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