i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
