I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize