help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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