tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
