I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
