Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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