My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When did angry sex become our thing?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
