I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize