i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
