She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
