R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
