i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Less talking, more tequila
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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