she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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