is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
