I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
