I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
