My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
