pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
