I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
