he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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