Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Shame - the story of my life.
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