this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
