Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
