for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
