I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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