I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job Iām going to wake him up with in the morning!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize