HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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