he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
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Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
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I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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