She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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