i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
