what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
