So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
