All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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