i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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