She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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