I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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