I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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