Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
