You can't special order awesome
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
