you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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