Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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