sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize