ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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