So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
